MKE’s Virtual Connections

The Right Swipe

Online dating has become the most frequently used method for people looking to meet others searching for romance and/or companionship. More than 44 million people participated in some form of online dating in 2021, according to Statista Research, and the number is expected to continue to grow. 

Dating apps with user-friendly smart phone technology have significantly changed the way we meet people, and each has its own unique operational twist. For example, the algorithm of the fastest-growing app, Bumble, only allows women to make the first move. The most popular app, Tinder, generates a stream of photos within a user’s immediate locale.

While research differs on the order of the top ten dating apps, Tinder remains the leader in most surveys. The list of the top 10 dating apps looks like this, according to Statistica:

1.  Tinder

2.  Bumble

3.  Match

4.  eharmony

5.  OK Cupid 

6.  Plenty of Fish 

7.  Hinge

8.  Grindr

9.  Badoo

10. Coffee Meets Bagel

Other popular apps — such as Zoosk, Our Time and Fitness Singles — cater to a specific age or interest group and might have fewer overall customers, but collectively have more like-minded people in their customer base.

Like many of the apps, Tinder’s current system adjusts who you see every time your profile is “liked” or “noped.” The more you’re active on the app, the more data it has to can determine your potential matches. 

The pandemic has certainly hastened the use of dating apps and sites. In 2021, Tinder set two records for usage between January and March. Hinge tripled its revenue from 2019 to 2020, and the company expects 2021 usage totals to be even higher than previous years. Almost half of Tinder users had a video chat with a match during the pandemic, and 40 percent of them continue to use this method as COVID numbers spike at the beginning of 2022.

Digital Love in MKE

Technology can play a large role in person’s dating destiny. While that may sound disparaging, many experience success finding their romantic partners online. 

MKE Lifestyle asked some couples who met online, a few unconventionally, to share their stories and offer advice for the virtual dating scene. 

Rachel & Andrew

Rachel Bennett, Grants Manager at the Waukesha County Community Foundation

Andrew Geppi, Assistant Golf Professional at Westmoor Country Club 

When did you meet and what app did you use?

“We met in October 2017 via Bumble, the app where the woman has to initiate conversation first when matched,” says Rachel. “We exchanged several messages daily via Bumble for about a week before I asked Andrew to go on a date.”

Had you both been looking awhile?

“Andrew had been looking for roughly 18 months with little success,” Rachel explains. “He was using ALL the dating apps — Tinder, Bumble, Hinge and more. It was to the point that his family offered to pay for some of the more premium subscriptions such as match.com. Needless to say, they really wanted to him to find that ‘special someone’ too.”

While Andrew was on his way to be becoming a tenured dating-app user, Rachel was a rookie. She had been looking for a couple months, casually swiping through profiles and starting conversations that didn’t go anywhere — certainly not to an in-person date. Then she came upon Andrew’s profile, and instantly recognized him from the fine dining restaurant Sanford, where he had been her server on an occasion. 

“That’s the dreamy waiter from Sanford,” Rachel remembers telling her girlfriends. And Andrew remembered her, too — even what she was wearing that very night. 

What interested you in each other to keep the communication going?

“Aside from our attraction to each other, we shared commonalities,” Rachel says. “For example, we both are twins, from the East Coast, music nerds/audiophiles, art enthusiasts, lived in Georgia before Milwaukee [Andrew for college and Rachel for an internship], and Frenchie [French bulldog] obsessed.”

Can you share any interesting dating stories? 

“Our first date was quite interesting Bryant’s Cocktail Lounge,” Andrew says. After not much luck and a few bad dates for Andrew, he was anxious for the first date with Rachel. When he saw Rachel approaching via the crosswalk, her elegance made him more nervous, he recalls. 

After making their way inside Bryant’s, the bartender asked to see both IDs. Andrew showed his immediately as Rachel fumbled around in her purse. After a minute or two of searching, she then handed her purse to Andrew to see if he could find her driver’s license. Unfortunately, there was no ID in her bag and they were asked to leave. 

Andrew thought it would be an elaborate ruse to get out of the date. But shortly after they parted, Rachel called to say she had found her driver’s license at home and asked Andrew to pick her up. After meeting up a second time within one hour, they settled in at Balzac with some wine and a few hours of conversation that would build the foundation to their relationship.

Where did you get engaged?

In the Pilot Room of Discovery World.

Any recommendations for others trying their luck online?

“Don’t wait too long to move things offline to in-person,” Rachel says. “Dating apps are a fun and an efficient way to meet people that you otherwise may have not had the opportunity to meet in a more ‘traditional’ way, but don’t hide behind those perfectly crafted exchanges that you’re secretly getting advice from your friends on what to say to next before you go for it and meet face-to-face.”

Marlena & Robert

Marlena Ward-Dodds, Learning Professional  

Robert Dodds, Service Manager 

When did you meet and what app did you use?  

“We met on Facebook in 2009 through mutual friends,” Marlena says.

Had you both been looking awhile? 

“Neither one of us was looking,” Marlena says. “We were just focused on living and growing as individuals, learning about ourselves and enjoying the journey of being single. Both of us were divorced and neither of us really thought we would remarry. For me, it was the furthest thing from my mind. I didn’t really desire it … so I thought.” 

Can you share any interesting dating stories? 

“We didn’t date for very long,” she says. “We met in October and chatted online and on the phone regularly for hours at a time — even though I was only going to give him 15 minutes on our first phone call just in case I didn’t like him, LOL. We ended up talking 45 minutes. Long story short, we were engaged in December and married by March 2010.”

Where was your first date? 

“The old Su Casa in Menomonee Falls,” Marlena says. “I selected that spot because it was close to my house. I had just moved the same day as our date, and felt bad if I cancelled the date on him, so I went tired.

I actually fell asleep on him!”

Where did you get engaged? 

“He proposed on Christmas Eve at his house,” she says. “I thought he was joking when he was on one knee asking me to be his wife. We eloped in March and didn’t tell anyone for about three weeks. That was so peaceful. No big wedding, just the two of us promising to spend the rest of our lives together.”

Any recommendations for others trying their luck online? 

“It’s important to understand and love who you are FIRST,” Marlena emphasizes. “You can’t give of yourself to another person if you aren’t keenly aware of who you are as a person. 

“Journal your non-negotiables and deal-breakers. I wrote down everything that was important to me in a partner, and I wrote the things that were deal-breakers. I was intentional about praying and asking God to guide me in my decisions. I took Rob around people I loved and trusted to make sure I wasn’t missing anything. Everyone LOVED him. 

“Rob knew what he was looking for in a wife and he knew quickly that I was the one, and he told me that. The key for me is that I was NOT looking for anyone. That was not my focus. 

“Marrying him was one of the best things for me. We complement each other, work hard and play harder. We have had some challenges along the way. I mean, who doesn’t, especially with a blended family coming together [five children, ages 13-30]? But love always wins.”

Linda & Hugh

Linda Meagher, Esq., Partner at Gass Turek, LLC, Milwaukee

Hugh de la Rosa, Senior Software Development Engineer, Secura Insurance 

How did you meet? 

“We met on Our Time in February 2015,” Linda says. “We were both coming off27-year marriages and had not dated since we were about 20 years old. We had been with our spouses for 30 years.”

What first appealed to you about each other?

“Hugh liked that I posted photos of me in my taekwondo outfit,” she says. “I also posted a comment about ‘men who live out of state or have a bad attitude need not apply.’ Hugh contacted me and told me he thought my profile was funny. I responded, ‘I’m glad I amuse you.’

“I thought Hugh looked sweet and cute. Hugh was living in Appleton and I was living in Brookfield. I wanted to date as many men as possible just to expand the dating pool, and Hugh had the same [idea]. I wasn’t going to seriously date some guy an hour and half away, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to go on one date with him. When I had a client meeting, we agreed to meet in Green Bay. We had a fun date, but again, he lived in Appleton. We still wrote long emails back and forth about our lives. Hugh went to visit his daughter for a week in March and fell off the grid.

“On Thanksgiving 2015, I sent a text to Hugh wishing him a happy Thanksgiving. We found out we were each single again. Hugh asked to take me out to lunch when he drove his son to Milwaukee to the airport.”

Can you share any interesting dating stories? 

“Hugh drove to Milwaukee to see me pretty much every weekend between March 2016 to when he moved in with me in September 2018,” Linda says. “Hugh was working on his MBA and working full-time as a software developer, so the fact that he drove this distance for me said a lot.”

What interested you in each other to keep the communication going?

“I love Hugh because he’s handsome, smart and so funny,” Linda says. “We laugh a lot in our relationship. We are very compatible.”

“I was looking for educated women,” Hugh says. “It helps with the conversation — someone who could keep up with my interests.”

You both have interesting dating strategies to share. 

“I had a spreadsheet with names of people I dated,” Linda says. “Everyone had a nickname I assigned: Widower EC [for Eau Claire], Appleton [Hugh]; UWM [professor there]; Sailing Guy, etc. I only spoke about them using the pseudonym. I dated 10 different men and always had at least two to three dates with each before deciding whether to move on or not.

“Hugh also had a spreadsheet. On top of that, as I later learned, he had a template for responding to emails. I thought these long thoughtful emails about his family or him were written just for me. Turns out he was sending the same thing to a variety of women. A good friend was asking about his dating strategies, and that’s when I found it out. I laughed my head off.”

“Yes, I kept Word documents so I could keep track of what I was sending them,” Hugh says. “If it worked for one, I’d go with it!”

Any recommendations for others trying their luck online?

“It’s better to look for someone who can complement you well and still allow you do your own thing rather than become co-dependent,” Hugh says.

“I’d vet anyone I dated by knowing his name so I could make sure he wasn’t a serial killer,” Linda says. “I even wrote a rules list I share with women who are dating online. Finding love in your 50s isn’t so hard if you put yourself out there. That being said, you have to date a lot of people to figure out what you want. Dating one person is not a good strategy because the more you date, the more people you meet.”

Dyonne & Jason

Dyonne Werth, RN, Traveling Nurse

Jason Werth, Drafter at STR/SEG, Menomonee Falls 

How did you meet?

“I had an extra ticket to see Tool in 2019 at the Forum and Motionless in White at the Rave,” Dyonne says. “I was looking for someone to go with me. I posted on a Facebook group called Rockfest Friends of Fest. Jason was one of many who responded. As a traveling nurse, I’d never really been to Milwaukee before, so I was looking for someone who could keep me safe, look out for me and be able to show me around a bit. Jason and I began messaging. Our schedules never really lined up until a Packers-Lions game. I asked him if he wanted to go out and watch it. He said yes and suggested Saloon on Calhoun.

“After that, we started hanging out as much as we could, going to different bars, restaurants and the concerts. I was starting to get feelings, and could tell he was too, so I told him that he cannot like me, because I’m a travel nurse. He stated that he liked me, fully knowing I was leaving.

“My contract was up in November, and he wrote me a letter and gave it to me the last time we hung out before I left. It was a beautiful letter. I left to go back to North Dakota, and then I had a contract in Butte, Montana. We didn’t really talk much because, for me, it hurt. I knew I’d left something great in Wisconsin, but I wasn’t ready for what he had to offer. I had been previously married and divorced in 2016. 

“In May 2020, I fully realized that what I needed was Jason, so — while I was working outside of St. Louis — I messaged him asking if he was still single. Thank goodness, he was. I told him that leaving Wisconsin was the biggest mistake I ever made and I wanted to see him. We scheduled for me to come up to Wisconsin after my contract ended.

“When I was in Waukesha, we mostly visited. A few days later we made our relationship official. After another work contract was done in August, we decided to move in together.”

What interested you in each other to keep the conversation going?

“Jason and I have a lot in common — mostly our love of music,” she says. “We just have great conversations together. He’s quiet, and I can be more of the social butterfly, so it works well. He loves baseball and umpires high school, college and a men’s league. He taught me to love baseball too.”

Can you share any interesting dating stories? 

“In July 2021, my friend and I were at Bradford beach enjoying the sun, water and some drinks. Jason finished umpiring a baseball game and asked to join us, so he came down. When he got there, my friend suggested pictures in the water. Jason and I put our feet in the water and then he got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife. I was over the moon!

“When talking about marriage and a wedding, we thought how expensive it is. I never really wanted another big wedding — I have a lot of family — and he agreed. In August we decided to go to Vegas. His team, the Brewers, were in Los Angeles playing the Dodgers — my team — so we scheduled our wedding around the Brewers and Dodgers. We flew to LA on Sept. 30, went to the baseball game Oct. 1, flew to Las Vegas Oct. 2, got married on Oct. 4, and flew home Oct. 6.”

Any recommendations for others trying their luck online?

Jason and Dyonne each constructed lists outlining what they did and didn’t want in a relationship. “We got all our dirty laundry out and on the table,” she says. “We took things very seriously and had conversations about it.”  MKE

Dating Resources

While dating apps are a good place to start for those who aren’t familiar with the singles scene, they aren’t for everyone. For those wanting a more proactive approach, there are a number of events for singles that take place in Milwaukee (COVID protocols may apply), including a variety of singles meetups, speed dating, and even an occasional singles night at American Family Field in the spring. Milwaukee also has a matchmaking service called “It’s just lunch.” itsjustlunchmilwaukee.com

Red Hot Ideas

Unique ways to spark romance with your valentine.

Valentine’s Day conjures thoughts of flowers, cards and candy hearts. And if the Cupid in you wants fun and frolic to make someone’s heart skip a beat, try these local ideas for a unique experience, any time of the month. 

Boxes of Fun: Give that favorite someone in your life Something Special from Wisconsin (SSfW) this Valentine’s Day with “Boxes of Fun.” SSfW and Christine’s Kitchens are teaming up to curate “Boxes of Fun” with fabulous goodies made by SSfW members. Pick from three boxes that include everything from soaps and chocolates to popcorn and beef jerky (head to the SSfW website for more delicious options). somethingspecialwi.com

Make your own truffles: What better gift to give your valentine than the melt-in-your-mouth goodness of dark chocolate and rich cream laced with raspberry or amaretto? And what if you made the truffles yourself? Both elegant and decadent, truffles are deceptively simple to make: cream, chocolate and time is all it takes to produce pure bliss. In this class at the Milwaukee Public Market, you’ll create three decorative five-piece boxes of truffles including both flavors —perfect for gift giving or to indulge yourself. milwaukeepublicmarket.org/classes/valentines-chocolate-truffles-2  

Milwaukee’s Food Tours: Enjoy the Milwaukee’s Greatest Love Stories virtual tour along with a breakfast-in-bed box (Feb. 12) or the Blissful Bites & Bubbles in-person tour (also Feb. 12).  A Milwaukee expert will entertain you with lively stories of the city’s history and culture and behind-the-scenes videos of unique spaces and people. The breakfast boxes include delectable breakfast goodies from local merchants. milwaukeefoodtours.com

Splash Studio’s Red Hot Love Fest Feb. 11-17 is a week of partner paintings. Splash is a combination art studio and bar offering paint, canvas and lessons. For Valentine’s Day, each reservation includes a champagne toast and a fun experience of painting a creative masterpiece together. splashmilwaukee.com

Cedarburg Winter Festival: This two-day Dr. Seuss-themed winter festival (Feb. 19-20) will feature an ice carving contest, barrel races, Cedarburg’s famous “costumed bed races on ice,” camel rides and outdoor activities, including a Saturday night, adults-only Seussville. cedarburgfestival.org/winter-festival  

The Village Cheese Shop: Reserve an “at home” Village Cheese Shop fondue kit that serves two to three for Valentine’s Day. You’ll receive all you need to make a traditional, authentic fondue: ingredients for the recipe, house dippers and an instructional video to walk you through the steps. And tips on wine pairings are included as well. villagecheesetosa.com 

Indulgence Chocolatiers: The local chocolateer is offering two in-person pairing classes at its Valentines Cocktails and Chocolates event at the Walker’s Point location Feb. 9 — $30 per person, call (414) 223-0123 for reservations. Or try either of the two Valentines Wine, Cheese and Chocolate programs Feb. 10 (also $30 per person) at the Brookfield location; call (262) 202-8731 for reservations. indulgencechocolatiers.com 

Romance Under the Stars: Treat your someone special to a unique tour of the universe at the Horwitz-DeRemer Planetarium Waukesha’s Retzer Nature Center. Each couple will receive chocolates and a flower. Two programs will be offered daily Feb. 11- 12, $30 per couple. bit.ly/ROMANCE2022

Weekend Getaways

The Brewhouse Inn & Suites in the former Pabst Brewery has gone to great lengths to retain and restore the historic complex’s original cream city architecture and design, along with Victorian-inspired furniture and modern amenities. For Valentine’s Day, Brewhouse will feature a dozen roses in the guest room as well as a   bottle of chilled sparkling wine and a house-made charcuterie board. Guests also receive a complimentary dessert in its On Tap restaurant. brewhousesuites.com

Renaissance Milwaukee West Hotel: The Nordstrom Mayfair shopping package takes advantage of the close proximity to the hotel. The package includes overnight accommodations, complimentary parking and a $100 Nordstrom gift card (one per stay). Upon arrival, receive a Nordstrom tote bag with sample sized beauty products, QR code and contact info for a personal stylist/shopper, complimentary coffee or hot cocoa at Nordstrom’s Ebar while shopping in-store, or at curbside store pickup, and two complimentary cocktail vouchers at Eldr+Rime’s bar. marriott.com

Ingleside Hotel: If you’re looking to celebrate Valentine’s Day as a family, the Ingleside Hotel offers overnight packages that include waterpark passes, a large pizza, an order of garlic bread and four soft drinks. Different promotions are available, depending on the type of suite. theinglesidehotel.com

The Pfister’s Rover night: According to a survey conducted by CertaPet that focuses on separation anxiety, it was found that 45 percent of women and 29 percent of men are willing to choose their dogs over their partners. The Pfister Hotel offers a solution — bring Rover along. One night dog-friendly accommodations include a doggy gift basket (a $100 pet cleaning fee is included). thepfisterhotel.com/packages/rover-night  MKE